youre lurking in front of me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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