My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
