i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
