Soap is not a condiment
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
