Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
