were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Everything about him screamed your future.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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