You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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