he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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