I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I checked into jail on foursquare
The beer is more important than you right now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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