I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
