don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
