I'm really into asian looking animals
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I've blown a few things in my day
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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