ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
