How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
