The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
