I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
