that's an acceptable place to lick
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
