i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
