I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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