I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
