wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
