it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
