She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
