Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
