it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
