I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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