It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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