Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
