have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Shame - the story of my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
