I can tuck mytits in my pants
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
