a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
