good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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