Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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