Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
