she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
