I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
