Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
