she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
