I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
