so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
