what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
