It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
