I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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