PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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