The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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