Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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