There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
