oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
