You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
