yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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